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• Face-to-face consultations
• Video and telephone consultations

About me

We can feel uneasy when we are in internal conflict and feel like we do not have the resources to be able to deal with what is currently happening in life. This feeling is, at its core, due to being impacted by being in relationship whether this is linked to current or historical relationships, i.e., work, family, trauma, loss, bereavement, etc.

This is also true for symptoms such as control, perfectionism, people pleasing, low self-esteem, etc. as the underlying issues are linked to internal fears which are created to stay / be in relationship due to a fear of rejection or abandonment or not being liked or feeling good enough.

You will have learnt ways to help you cope with your feelings when you feel empty, alone, down, not good enough, under threat, etc. such as avoidance, withdrawing, punishment, sulking or substance misuse (i.e. alcohol, food).

What is true is we are born as 'feeling creatures' and what happens along life's journey is we learn from, and mirror, those in our social environment. If we are told to suppress feelings, we start to use logic instead as a way to cope / solve problems which works for a while yet, eventually, it is our feelings that disable us, i.e., anger, resentment, sadness, loss, disappointment, depression, anxiety, hurt, etc. I call this very simply 'backpack full'.

How we grow up, and our life and relational experiences, have such an impact on the skills we have and we are a product of all of life's teachings. What is absolutely true is your learnt way of being in the world, and the coping mechanisms you have utilised have worked for you until now! Yet they are now causing you discomfort and distress as they no longer work.

My style of counselling / psychotherapy is relational which means we work together looking at the 'how' of the way you are living today. Together we find ways to aid you living more authentically to bring you more satisfaction, contentment, fulfilment and choices. In a nutshell we look to 'empty your backpack'.

I have worked in people facing roles all of my working life. The last 20 years I have worked in the mental health sector with the last 9 years specifically in private practice. Feedback confirms I am easy to talk to, a good listener, inclusive and real.

My current appointment availability is available at www.harmoniouscounselling.com. Please do check there before contacting me.

Areas of interest

Relationship / relational issues (individual, couple, family and work); alcohol dependency; loss; bereavement; work challenges; low self-esteem; low self-worth; low self-confidence; not feeling good enough; imposter syndrome; shame; guilt; loneliness; low mood, unhappiness; perfectionism; control; fear; anxiety; anger expression; attachment issues; attachment disorder; infedility / affairs; age 18+

Medical secretaries

• Kate Heavey
• Chilton Close Alfold Cranleigh GU6 8HB
• 07941 305511
• harmoniouscounselling@gmail.com